NOT MADE UP!!! Authorities in Florida received multiple calls about a man who was disturbing the peace and later identified 61-year-old Thomas Devaney Lane as the suspect. He was calling himself “the saint” and allegedly said his army of turtles would “destroy everyone.” Good thing the police aren’t afraid of being attacked by an army of turtles. Lane was arrested and charged with disturbing the peace, resisting arrest without violence and misusing 911 after he called and told the operator that the police needed to leave or they would regret messing with the saint. He was taken to the Brevard County Jail Complex and later released on bail.